Life Lessons from a Spider: Rebuilding with Resilience

See the Spider Mend

I noticed a powerful example of resilience when I caught the light on this spider web. See how she has rebuilt her web, over and over again, each web layered right on top of the last one? I like to imagine her climbing, securing a line, and then falling . . . walking some distance, climbing again . . . She anchors the web in several places, reinforcing the anchors with thicker support strands, then she spirals step by step until— finally—a finished home. Everything in its place. She can ride the waves of the wind.

And then . . . rain, creatures, storms. Life rips right through the web she’s built.

But she doesn’t abandon her home. She adds new anchors, strings new support strands, and walks the spiral step by step once more.

The storm visits; she rebuilds.

Drawing Inspiration

We encounter our own storms— when life rips through the webs we've built. We might lose a job, watch a relationship crumble, or grieve the loss of a loved one. In these moments, it can feel like all is lost, as if our world is wrecked along with our sense of self-worth and opportunities for joy. We might find ourselves in darkness and confusion.

In these times, just as the spider returns to her anchors and support strands, we can return to places that have held strong for us in the past.

Anchoring with Self-Care

We protect our power by listening and responding to our own needs. Generally, we all need movement, water, nutrition, and sleep. When life falls apart, it’s easy to lose our appetite, have trouble sleeping, and stop caring for ourselves physically. Starting small with self-care is often the first step to managing hard times. When you don’t know which way to go, you can always do something to increase your personal energy.

Start small. Drink a glass of water—maybe you’d like to drink one right now, while you’re thinking of it. Take a 5-10 minute walk outside, especially during daylight hours if you can. We might connect with others. Christina Tosi and Simon Sinek discuss the “Incredible Power of an “Eight-Minute Catch-Up” with a Friend, saying “There is no greater honor than to send [a friend] a text message that says, ‘Do you have eight minutes?'” My friends and I practice this. We all ebb and flow in our social availability, but we can almost always carve out ten minutes for a lifeline.

These small self-care habits can build a baseline of predictability. When you connect with your people, you feel less alone. When you respond to your physical signals, you begin to trust yourself more. You don’t have to be perfect—just notice. What feeds you? What depletes you? Shift your focus accordingly.

Supporting Core Values

We create adaptive resilience by connecting with our core values. Often, we see these values in both the highs and lows of life. Hard choices, mistakes, and even sorrow or regret reveal what matters most to us. Pangs of conscience become guardrails, guiding us along an ethical path.

Then there’s the joy, which lights the way forward. I love going to the ocean. After a hard swim, I emerge tired and happy. I feel I’ve washed out the dusty corners. Sitting here at my desk, I can feel my body drifting on the waves, squinting at the clouds. There’s an energy line there that I can tap into, even without being physically near the water. Similar, and different - I remember when my stepdaughter told me she loved me after a few tough weeks. I’d never felt a jolt through my heart like that before; I still can’t quite explain it. But I know I’m going back for more.

These are some of my foundation lines. They resonate with me. And I have friends who don’t like sand, and friends who don’t enjoy children. It’s personal. When storms rip through our lives, we return to what has worked for us in the past.

Growth Through Repetition and Renewal

The beauty of this spider’s web lies in its repeated renewal. It shows us that resilience isn’t about bouncing back unchanged, but about responding to change with familiar structures and flexibility. As life unfolds, we find new anchors. We return to our supports. We adapt to internal and external shifts while staying true to ourselves.

In this way, the storm doesn’t only destroy — it creates opportunities for authentic growth.

Embracing the Practice of Resilience

Next time you see a spider at work, let it remind you of the resilience within yourself. No matter how many times you’ve had to rebuild, you have the tools and ability to weave a new web — even better than the last one.